Life

When your dad first told me that he was going to be leaving for two weeks of annual training I was worried. As the time for him to leave came closer, I grew more and more worried. After all, I am a first-time mom and I’ve never had to do this before. I’m used to being at home with you pretty much all day, but at the end of the work day your dad comes home and I’m no longer alone. I’ve never had to be without him for more than a couple of days tops, so this has been a change.

Thankfully, your grandparents, your aunt, and your uncle have come by many times to keep me company and I am grateful to them for that. I was especially thankful for their company when a major storm hit and caused a power outage. After a couple of days being alone, my mom came all the way from Georgia to visit for a bit. She was so excited to see you again and you seemed super excited as well. Sadly, on the night of her return, you were very colicky and you cried up a storm. It took us a while to get you to sleep and I was so saddened by your cries. I am so glad she was there with me when this happened because I would’ve cried along with you. On a happier note, you learned to roll from back to belly and since then you have been a little ball of energy.

Although I wasn’t completely alone, it was not the easiest experience and I give major props to all of the single moms out there. They are alone day in and day out and have to raise their child by themselves. Your dad was only going to be gone for two weeks and I did not know how I would do. I can’t imagine what it is like to be alone every single day. Of course, since he is in the Military, there may come a time when he will leave for much longer so I will have to accustom myself to this.

When you get married to someone you can only imagine what your life with them will be like, but you never truly know how life with them will play out. I knew it wouldn’t be the easiest life being married to a Soldier in the Army, but I was willing to take that chance with him. I can truly say that I am beyond happy to have married your dad and have taken that chance. Life is not always the easiest and it never will be, but I am okay with that. I am proud of him and how far we have come as a family.

 

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Anxiety. Thoughts in my head.

People would always tell me don’t call sicknesses and illnesses upon yourself. Don’t own your disease don’t say you have this or have that because you always will. I don’t mean to call anxiety upon myself but it’s there. 

I’m constantly worrying about what everyone is thinking. Whenever I go out to eat to a restaurant or go anywhere I am always looking around seeing if anyone is judging me. It even happens when I take my little one out to our families house or when people come over. 

A constant worry, a constant fear. I feel that if I let people hold my child for too long they’re gonna think I dont take care of him. If I don’t let them hold him I’m scared they’re going to think I don’t like them or I’m annoying. 

It’s difficult living with this and it makes me sad at times. I can never be comfortable and that is why at times I just need to leave the place I’m at and take my little one with me. It doesn’t just happen with my child  though, it happens with everything I do.

When I’m home I don’t feel the judgments of other people whether they’re there or not. I can be myself with my husband, with my baby. I can melt down if I want to and I know he won’t judge me. I try to be okay though for my son. I have to be strong but sometimes it’s difficult and I just have to let it out. 

It’s tiring having to put on a happy face with everyone. At times its genuine and I can by myself and the thoughts of, “are they judging me?” “Am I doing something wrong?” “What can I do to make them like me?” aren’t swirling around in my head. 

I know that these thoughts are just that, thoughts in my head and most of the time they aren’t true. Everyone tells me all the time to relax, that’s it’s okay but it’s not that easy. I can’t just turn off the thoughts in my head.

So, I’m sorry if sometimes I seem irritated. It’s not because I don’t like you. It’s because I’m anxious, I want to run away to my safe place as fast as I can. I’m sorry if I’m ever mean because of my anxiousness, it’s not who I want to be. Some days I’m okay with hiding it but other times I can’t and I get irritated at everything. 

Trust me, I feel so bad about it at the end of the day. I go over what I did that day and I feel so bad because I wasn’t able to keep it together. 

So the next time you see a friend or a family member with anxiety getting irritated or  anxious, please don’t judge them. Instead, offer kind words tell them it’s gonna be okay. Give them a hug if they’re okay with it. 

Hopefully, this has helped you to understand someone with anxiety a little bit better.

Diapers Review

For all of you mothers and fathers out there you’ll understand what I mean when I say that one day you’re going to get very acquainted with diapers. When the arrival of your baby finally comes, you’re going to have to learn to change his or her diaper whether you like it or not! It’s going to be a constant thing even if you use cloth diapers. Before you know it, you’ll be diaper changing pros!

So, which diaper is best for your baby? It really depends (no pun intended) on what you’re looking for in a diaper. Is it well fitting, absorbent, affordable? Everyone’s choice is going to be different, but here is a review of five brands.

5. Pampers Swaddlers

These diapers I received as a gift for my baby shower and I still have them in my baby’s room. The only really good thing is the wetness indicator. It has this awful netting that sticks to my baby and I really don’t like it. The material is also very paper-like and not very absorbent. 

4. Huggies Snug and Dry 

 Huggies is one of my prefferred brands, but this particular kind is not my favorite. The good thing about this diaper is that it has an elastic band that contours to your baby, but it doesn’t have that extra fabric around the waist. Second, it has decent absorbency but it’s not good for overnight. Finally price wise, you can buy 132 count for $22.97 which is not too terrible.

3. Luvs 

At first, I didn’t really think I would like this diaper and I only bought it because I could not find anything else. It turned out to be a better choice than I thought. For starters, it has the extra fabric that goes around the baby’s waist, but it does not have an elastic band. Second it is very absorbent and my baby did not have any overnight leaks. Finally, pricewise you can buy 140 count for $29.48 which is not a bad deal. As an added bonus it has a nice powdery smell to it, which is both positive and negative because it can irritate your baby’s delicate skin.

 

2. Huggies Little Snugglers Plus

Huggies Little Snugglers, and Huggies Little Snugglers Plus are basically the same exact thing. The only real difference is the Plus is said to be a better version of the regular Snugglers diaper.  The downfall to this brand is that it is hard to find in regular stores. A 174 pack is $37.49

1. Huggies Little Snugglers

I never thought I would say this but my all time favorite diaper is Huggies Little Snugglers for various reasons. For one, it has a little extra fabric that goes around the baby’s waist for better fit along with an elastic waist band. I really loathe the diapers that are cut in a straight rectangle shape an don’t contour to your baby. Second, the material is gentle, breathable and absorbent. It has a wetness indicator that turns blue when your baby is wet. As for price, you can find a 132 pack in size 2 for $26.95. An added plus is that it has the words “front” and “back” printed on the diaper so you know you’re putting the baby’s diaper on correctly. I never knew that I would have needed to be told which is the front and back of a diaper, but even now I sometimes put K’s diaper on backwards.

This is all just my personal experience and my personal opinion and you are free to like whichever diaper you like.

Foggy

Foggy, an accurate description for how I’ve been feeling. My brain has been clouded over by a thick fog that doesn’t allow any light to penetrante. My mind desperately searches for an escape, but the more I search the foggier it gets. Perhaps I’m trying too hard to run away. Instead, I embrace the fog and find relief in it. Eventually, the fog lifts, I gaze up and find that the light has been there all along. I’m finally free.

5 Months Old, 5 Meses!

Looking down at you, I stare in disbelief.  Could it be that it has already been 5 months since the first day I met you? 5 months since I gave birth to you, my beautiful little boy. 


Time has gone both fast and slow. Some days I want time to slow down so I can catch up with you, so I can appreciate every new thing you do, every new thing you discover. Other times I want time to speed up so you can learn to walk, learn to talk. Patience, I tell myself. One day I’ll miss all these moments, your dad’s and my excitement when you learn something new. “Siempre va aprender algo nuevo” “He will always learn something new”, my Mom tells me, but it’s not everyday that you’ll take your first step or speak your first word. It will be exciting when you learn something new at school, but these moments are special.

Our journey together has been amazing and I can’t wait to continue watching you grow. 

When Fever Strikes 

Unfortunately, you’ve come down with a fever and I don’t know the cause of it. There are no signs of a cold – no coughing, no sniffling – just lots of sleeping and crying. I’m beginning to think you might be cutting a tooth and that’s causing your high fever because you keep trying to rip my… Anyways, when we brought you to the doctors all they said was you are developing a cold. Still, no signs of anything. If this is teething, then I’m not looking forward to when you actually have teeth (ouch). For now, I am just keeping an eye out to see if anything else develops (hopefully not).

A good tool for checking a baby’s temperature is a thermometer, of course. (We got this cute little kit in our registry and it came with a thermometer among other things). Doctors always tell me a rectal thermometer is more accurate, but I was always scared to use it! “Who wants to stick a thermometer up their baby’s butt” I always wondered, but with your high fever, I had to tough it up. It actually was a lot easier than I thought, just stick the little mercury silver part with some petroleum jelly in there and keep the baby still. That is actually the hardest part because it takes so long for it to read your temperature… I’m debating buying this one because it would be easier and we’ll just keep the forehead thermometer for us and the other thermometer for you.

Anyways, you’re in your bassinet tonight so I can observe you in case anything should happen. The fact that you’re not feeling well is upsetting. I was hoping we could go a while without you getting sick, but it was unavoidable. Hopefully, you’re better tomorrow, otherwise back to the doctors we go 😦

Our first trip to the water park!

Our first trip to the water park with you went much smoother than we expected! Since we had planned on going the day before and it started to rain, we had everything that we needed. All we had to do was pack up and go. On our way there you fell asleep in your car seat so we just popped you into the stroller and you continued sleeping for a good while. It took a while for your grandma, aunt, and uncle to arrive and by the time they did arrive, an hour had already passed! Your dad had gone on the slides about 3 times and I just sat and waited for them. More people were starting to come in so I had to keep people from taking our chairs.

Anyways, when you finally woke up we changed you into your little swim trunks, water diaper and headed over to the little children’s area. You’d think that they would warm up the water for the little kids to be warm, but no. We sat you down in the water and you started to cry! The water was cold and you didn’t like it at first, but it didn’t take you long to get used to it… We decided not to let you sit there for too long as the sun was beating down on our backs. The risk of you getting a burn was not worth the fun. Other than that, we all enjoyed ourselves and I can’t wait until we go to the pool again when you’re older.

On another note, it is important when you are taking your baby out in the sun to take the proper precautions to prevent sunburn. A baby’s skin is more delicate than ours so it needs more attention! I am no pediatrician, just a mom who likes to research a lot and you should always talk to your pediatrician about what is good for your child, and from there you decide what is right for them. Based on my research, I have read that it is important to put sunscreen on your baby (if they are 6 months or older) before they go outside. Otherwise make sure that they wear a long sleeve cotton shirt, pants and a hat when going out in the sun. Personally, I like Babyganics as it is an organic sunscreen and has good coverage! Also, this hat for boys and this cute little hat for girls is perfect for protecting your bundle of joy from the sun’s harsh rays. If you really want to add some more protection why not add some sunglasses as well?

This post was made possible by a sponsorship from Amazon. But, all reviews are based on my own opinion and I believe these products/services are beneficial and would not otherwise be featured. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.